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| Hope was the anchor that kept me from going home early. When things became overwhelming, I looked to Jesus Christ, who suffered more than any of us |
I remember so clearly the day I left my family and friends in 2023 to serve the Lord. Leaving everything behind was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it taught me a vital truth: life is hard, and I am nothing without Him. Through the struggle, I learned the weight and the worth of faith, hope, and endurance.
There were moments when I nearly gave up—not just on my goals, but on my membership in the Church. The demands felt heavy, and faith felt like the hardest Christlike attribute to master. I struggled to have faith in people and in the future. Yet, as I prayed for strength, I realized the Savior wasn't removing my burdens; He was placing me in situations that required me to exercise faith. I learned that while we are weak on our own, through Him, we are made perfect.
Finding Hope in the Hardest Moments
Hope was the anchor that kept me from going home early. When things became overwhelming, I looked to Jesus Christ, who suffered more than any of us. I clung to His promise in John 14:18: "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." I knew that if I refused to let discouragement engulf me, He would come. And He did.
The Reality of Coming Home
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| felt a wave of failure. It seemed like the "marks" of my mission were fading, and I feared I had lost the best version of myself. I caught myself wishing I could just go back to the mission field—not because it was easy, but because I liked who I was when I was there. |
I have been home for one year and three weeks now. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by the expectation to be "perfect" just because I wore a missionary badge. I look in the mirror and ponder who I am becoming today.
I remember how much the mission changed me. I learned patience and how to treat others with genuine kindness. I learned to "feast" upon the scriptures rather than just reading them. I learned to converse with Heavenly Father through prayer with pure intent. Even when circumstances didn't change, I changed. I became more like Jesus Christ.
The Question That Changed Everything
Lately, as I’ve reflected on those changes, a quiet impression hit me: "Are those changes still in me?"
I began to audit my own soul:
- Am I praying with the same fervor I had in the field?
- Am I as patient and sweet with my family as I was with my investigators?
- Am I still feasting on the Word, or has my fire dimmed?
I felt a wave of failure. It seemed like the "marks" of my mission were fading, and I feared I had lost the best version of myself. I caught myself wishing I could just go back to the mission field—not because it was easy, but because I liked who I was when I was there.
"Your Mission Is Not Over"
In my moment of self-pity, another impression came: "Your mission is not over."
I remembered the counsel of my Mission President: our mission doesn't end when we take off the tag. We may not be in the field, but our entire life on earth is our mission. If you feel like those spiritual "marks" have faded, remember that it is never too late to get back on track. We might not have the same tan lines or the same schedule, but we can have the same Spirit.
We don’t have to be perfect; we just have to keep striving. If you feel you’ve drifted too far, remember 1 John 4:4:
"Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world."
A Loving Father
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| " God the Eternal Father " |
Heavenly Father is not waiting to chastise us for every mistake. He is a loving Father guiding us home. I’ve decided to stop worrying about what people expect of me and focus on what He knows of me. He knows my pain, my disappointments, and my unrewarded efforts.
I have no regrets about my mission. I felt the pure love and mercy of the Lord there, and I will treasure that witness as I continue to endure to the end. My mission isn't a memory—it's my life.
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